


Impatients

by LKChoi



Category: Shinhwa
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Comedy, Drama, Family Issues, Friendship, Homosexuality, M/M, Multi, Psychological, Rehabilitation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LKChoi/pseuds/LKChoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shin Hyesung is a damaged man who is dealing with a crippling injury and other personal struggles. What will happen when his close friend becomes more conscious of him and he starts to drift into the arms of another man?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angel

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I wrote, Just for fun and to explore a different kind of writing style. Plus of course I'm a Shinhwa Changjo so the feels are real ^o^ In case you are wondering, I mispelled the title on purpose, so please do not worry about it ^^. I hope you don't mind me tugging at some of your heart strings a bit here and there with this story. To make up for it I did something fun with the titles of each chapter. Let me know if you realize the pattern ^^ tee hee hee. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ^_-

Pastel purples fading into light pink, a streak of orange, the inevitable deep blue stretching far in the distance; the sky seemed so soft and almost tangible. Standing with his feet bare on the frigid white linoleum floor, Hyesung lifted his arm with the IV line dangling as he raised it to the window and touched the cool glass. Staring at his faded reflection meshed with the hazy colors of sunset he could feel his heart sink in his chest. He felt defeated.

The 30 year old had been in an accident a year ago. Driving home late from his father's clinic he was stressed to the point of exhaustion. As if it had never stopped raining the road looked like a deep black river extending endlessly in the darkness. Hyesung flinched recalling the bright lights of a truck coming his way on the narrow mountainside road. Late reaction....shock...and then....

He limped over to his bed, his right leg struggling with the weight of his left as it dragged slightly behind. Slowly sitting down he slumped over with his face in his hands, hiding behind his long dark brown bangs, sobbing silently.

The door of his room creaked open and he could hear footsteps approach. He didn't even notice the machine he was attached to beeping. That beeping was a boisterous sound he'd gotten far too used to. How long had it been going off? It didn't really matter anymore.

A male nurse walked to his bedside to detach the thin transparent tubing from his skinny arm, deactivating the machine before doing so. The man's name was Andy Lee. He was of average build wearing a navy blue nurse uniform slacks. Better looking than your average Korean man with a cute charm to him, he wore his shoulder-length hair layered and flipped with light brown highlight tips. Andy had been working at the rehabilitation facility for a few years and had already gained respect from his seniors. Only a few years younger than Hyesung, Andy was very efficient at his job. Caring, tentative and nurturing; all the patients loved him. Even the distant Hyesung had a large amount of respect for him.

Andy glanced at Hyesung with a concerned look on his face. It was one of a few times he'd seen him so vulnerable since he started treatment. In that short time he learned that Hyesung wasn't the type to easily receive affection, but he looked like he needed a hug. He pushed the thought from his mind and scratched the back of his head searching for the right approach then finally cleared his throat..

“Isn't your friend coming to see you today?” he asked suddenly. “I think he'll worry if he sees you like this.”

Hyesung looked up at him. He was always difficult to read, Instead of trying, Andy maintained his composure. He simply pushed the IV pole to the side and handed him a big warm plastic container he'd placed on the bedside when he came in.

“I saved you some of my homemade dak galbi. It's too much for me to finish and I notice you skipped lunch. It's not anything fancy but please eat some when you can. There's plenty so feel free to finish it off with your friend if you'd like.”

Shyly he took the bulky black container, studying its contents through the plastic. How didn't he notice that spicy aroma of the chicken? All the contents of the dish seemed so fresh with such brilliant color as if ripped from the page of a cookbook. Maybe it was just him, but it looked as if Andy hadn't touched it at all. Taken aback by the kind gesture, Hyesung quickly looked back up only to see that Andy had already started heading out of the room.

“Wait!” he called out causing him to pause. “I can't possibly accept this.”

Andy turned and smiled. Ah, that smile, the one so gentle and compassionate that it can cause a whole room to feel lighthearted in an instant. He admired that smile; everyone did.

“Eat well Hyesung-ssi. I have a new admission so I have to run. I'll be seeing you around.”

With that Andy pulled the heavy wooden door closed behind him and was gone before he could speak another word. It was then that Hyesung realized that he'd stopped feeling bad the moment he saw his face.        


	2. Gonna Be Alright

 The sun had gone down and it read 7:08pm on the digital clock of Hyesung's phone. Lying on his back he stretched his arms out staring blankly into the ceiling light above the bed. As the heat grazed his face he became lost in it's brilliance.. A few minutes must have gone by before he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in.” he said dryly. The door creaked open and he could hear the muffled rustling of a plastic bag and footsteps approach his bedside. He didn't look away.

“Ya!” yelled a familiar voice as the shadow leaned over him blocking his view. Hyesung clenched his eyes shut and open again in order to readjust his vision. “When did you get so depressing?”

“Eeeeish.” hissed Hyesung trying to hide a smile.

Park Choong-jae, better known by his friends as Jun-Jin, was a good friend from college whom Hyesung had met in his last year. Despite being wary of most people, he found his presence comforting. He's funny and hard-working with a lax personality that's easy to deal with. How it got to the point of feeling like a childhood friend he still couldn't figure out, but he didn't second guess it either. Being with him felt right, as if he'd always been there.

Broad shoulders and slender-built, he'd grown his hair out a bit and died it blonde. Swiped to the side from a part on the right, the layered hairstyle made him look youthful yet mature.

_This style suits him well._ Thought Hyesung admiring him in the light.

Realizing his closeness he scowled, Instinctively Jin moved and chuckled at his flustered reaction. He walked over to a round white table near the window and pulled out a chair.

“I brought soju.” he said while sitting. Hyesung carefully made his way over and joined him.

“You're not allowed to bring alcohol in here.” he fussed while staring at the conspicuous bag he pulled from his backpack and sat on the table, It was thin enough to show the green glass bottles.

“I had it in my bag so no one knows.” he said pulling two shot glasses out of a small side pouch. “Just eat some food. They won't find out if you stay sober. If eating doesn't work just go to sleep.”

“You're a bad influence on me.” Hyesung smirked while grabbing a bottle. “Maybe just one. I don't want you to have wasted your money.”

“Right.” he chuckled in response. Noticing the food on the nightstand, he retrieved it as his friend poured a shot.

“So, who made all of this?”

“The nurse.” Hyesung replied staring into his glass.

“Andy?” questioned Jin surprised. Hyesung nodded. “Uwaah, look at this. Who'd have thought he could make something so appealing. That guy's a perfect mom.”

“That's rude.” snorted Hyesung admitting to the truth in his statement. He proceeded drinking the contents from the small glass in his hands. “He put a lot of thought into it. You're welcome to have some, so eat well and be grateful.”

“Of course.” he replied while sitting. “You too in that case. You don't look like you've eaten in a while. Do you starve yourself while I'm not around?”

He said nothing, staring blankly at the empty glass in his hands. Jin noticed this and became very worried, hoping in his mind that it wasn't true. The atmosphere became awkward and neither said a word.

_Was it conceited of me to think that I could cheer him up just by being here?_  Pushing the thought from his mind,Jin let out a loud sigh which drew Hyesung's attention. Grabbing the food he reached over the table and lightly tapped the top of his head with the container.

“Ya!” growled Hyesung. Jin grinned and walked away with the food.

“I'm going to heat this up. Don't get drunk while I'm gone.”

“As if!” he smirked. They exchanged a glance for a moment, as if to transmit a message telepathically.

_I'm glad you're here._ Hyesung smiled.

Junjin smiled back. He left the room and Hyesung sat alone, waiting impatiently for his return, not wanting to feel the settling cold beneath his feet.

. Junjin had been the one by his side throughout the entire ordeal. With a father always pressuring him to be what he designed him to be and a sick mother with barely enough strength to care for them both, he'd been bearing a heavy weight on his shoulders most of his life. Not given the choice, he started training under his father at his veterinary clinic as soon as he finished college. That night of the accident, after hiding it out of shame for so many years, he'd revealed to his father that he was gay. Disappointed by his son's sexuality, his angered and embarrassed father yelled, throwing things, claiming disowning him. Hyesung ran out of the clinic that night so upset he could barely see the truck coming, while looking through the tears and the darkness.

Junjin was the one to support his decision, encouraging him to be true to himself, pushing him to go through with making choices for his own happiness. Too afraid for the repercussions, not wanting to burden his mother any further, he ignored it and obeyed quietly for all those years.

_What was it all for? Where did it leave me? Why couldn't I just...._ shaking he gripped the small glass in his hand almost to the point of breaking. Jin returned with the food but quickly noticed his state of being. Rushing over he dropped the container onto the table and without hesitation grabbed hold of his friend and embraced him.

Shocked by the sudden gesture Hyesung froze. Jin's arms held firmly and he could almost feel him trembling.

“Shin Hyesung!” he shouted upset while clutching him tightly. “Stop!”

Warm was the only word that could describe it. His arms like a heavy comforter with bones securely wrapped around him. His heart racing against his back as if to pulsate for his too while he couldn't feel it. The feeling of his breath while he breathed with his face tucked in his shoulder. How did he ever deny himself such a sensation?

_I can't figure it out, Why can only Jin do this to me? Comfort, is that all this is?_ Calmly, Hyesung let go of the glass.

“Jinnie-ya.” he whispered.

“I'm sorry. I know how you are about being too close, but I just-”

“It's fine.” interrupted Hyesung, who relaxed against him and closed his eyes. “It's fine to stay like this, just for a little while.”

That's exactly what they did, not saying a word, simply savoring the comfort of each other's body heat while the time slipped away and the food got cold again.


	3. Hey, Dude!

“Hyesung.....Shin Hyesung....Hyesungie-ya...” a deep voice sang in different forms of his name. What time was it? When did Jin leave? Who the hell was rude enough to wake him in such an aggravating way? He opened his eyes and glared.

“You.”

There stood a tall handsome man with short spiked black hair, a very mature look despite his childish behavior. Oozing charisma with a strong aura that demanded respect, Dr. Eric Mun had a reputation for being an excellent young doctor with a very unpredictable personality. Not the type of man to easily witness the suffering of others despite his job, he always did his best to make his patients feel familiar and comfortable around him. Even going so far as to allow the choosing of formalities in speech, people can't easily guess that he's a doctor. You could go as far as saying that some still think that he's just a long-term patient who owns a lab coat. Hyesung still wonders to this day how the man got his job.

“Ah, you always greet me with such a pleasant face.” he smiled standing at his bedside with three other doctors from his team. Seeing this, Hyesung turned on his back and sat up, rubbing his eyes and smoothing his hair down. He bowed his head to each of them and they did the same.

“Good morning Dr.” he winced.

 _Calling me such an embarrassing nickname in front of his colleagues. This guy has no sense of decency._ He rambled angrily in his mind while glaring at Eric from the corner of his eye. Eric chuckled while looking over the papers attached to a clipboard in his hands.

 _So cute._ He laughed to himself as if knowing what he was thinking. Hyesung mumbled something under his breath. Hardly containing his laughter Eric cleared his throat.

“Well, how is your leg doing these days Hyesung-ssi? How was it over the weekend?” he asked putting on a serious face as if changing personalities the moment he began to focus on the task at hand.

“Okay I guess.” sighed Hyesung. “It still feels heavy but it's slowly getting easier to move.”

“Do you feel that you want to try a bit more physical therapy today? Gotta be better than hanging out in here all day.”

“I can try.” he said rolling his eyes.

“Good to hear.” he smiled. “It should be even easier to move once you lose a bit more fluid off of it You lost a liter over the last two days and we're considering upping your dose of the water pills slightly.”

“Have you experienced any nausea, fever, dryness of the mouth, shortness of breath...?” asked a female doctor to which he shook his head no. “All your vitals are fine and you seem well. Then it seems we can risk it, just a small increase for now. We want to see you get better and I think with this you can. It shouldn't hinder your therapy any further.”

“You hear that?” remarked Eric happily as if the news was meant for him. “Keep this up and you'll be running pass us all in no time!” Bursting out in a hardy laugh the others laughed awkwardly with him. Hyesung smirked thinking of how embarrassed that must have been despite their admiration.

“Yes, maybe.” he smiled.

“That's the spirit.” Eric grinned. “We'll be going then. Be sure to try your best but don't push yourself too much and eat a good breakfast that will get you goin'.”

Hyesung nodded. “I will. Thank you doctor.”

Eric smiled at Hyesung once more before leaving the room and gestured his team to follow, leaving without another word. Hyesung peered over at the table where he and Jin sat and saw nothing but the food Andy had prepared. Getting up he noticed a note attached. Half the food was gone and the note signed by Jin read:

_There are people who care this much about you._

_He truly made this with care so enjoy it and thank him for us both._

_Tell him it was delicious!_

_Good luck with therapy today._

_I'll call you later._

_Hyesungie Hwaiting ^^!_

_-Jinnie-ya <3-_

Quietly he stood staring at the note, contemplating the message. After a few moments, he smiled and gently grazed over the covered food with his hand, truly admiring it.

_Yeah. I'll try._


	4. An Aquainted Guy

Doctors make their rounds pretty early in the morning and Hyesung was not a morning person. Cranky he looked at the time on his cell phone: 9:45am.

“Eeeish!”He cursed.

Despite his encouragement from Junjin's note and Andy's food, he felt reluctant to get ready for therapy. It was just too early. There was barely enough time to wash and change, but with assistance from a CNA he was able to spare the time to actually go eat the food before his therapy session at 11. With crutches under his arms suited to his above average height he carried the container in a plastic bag Jin left.

Holding it loosely in his hand while making his way down the hallway he'd made it half of the 20 foot distance to the pantry. He could feel his stomach rumble with anticipation as he drew near the open door hearing a rising commotion from the eating area of the wide recreational space.

_Too early to be so energetic. Just gotta heat up my food and-_

With a sudden and hard thud, as if in slow motion, Hyesung watched helplessly as the bag in his hands flew into the air. Hitting the ground hard on his back he felt a heavy weight on top of him. He yelped on impact and almost ignoring the pain cursed out in anger.

“Ya! You! What are you doing?!”

Glaring at the man who had crashed into him without consideration, Hyesung's eyes met with his as he looked up from the awkward position atop his chest. Squinting in pain he slowly rose to his knees. The hallway light from above shone brightly behind the outline of his dark brown head full of shoulder-length layered hair that swept perfectly to the side across his forehead. He quickly rose to his feet and extended his hand towards Hyesung.

“I'm sorry. Are you okay. Can you get up?” asked the stranger consecutively with a worried look on his face. “Here let me-”

“Don't touch me!” snapped Hyesung slapping his hand away. “I don't need your help!”

Sadly he drew his hand back and watched as he took so much effort to rise from the ground with the crutches at his side. Waiting the whole time he let out a relieved sigh and smiled to which Hyesung scowled.

“I'm really very sorry.” he said sincerely, bowing 90 degrees as Hyesung wiped dirt off his clothes. Looking pass him at the floor he was shocked to see his precious meal splattered and ruined. Noticing this the stranger was even more embarrassed and apologetic, bowing again and again.

“I can't apologize enough. Please let me repay you, or something.”

“That was my breakfast.” Hyesung said coldly staring the short man down with murderous intent. “What were you even thinking? What were you doing? What kind of fool are you?”

“Well...” he laughed awkwardly trying to shake his fear of the taller man. “I'm visiting a friend. We were goofing off a little, and, stuff?”

It felt as if the whole building had grown dark. Hyesung was far beyond consoling. A striking chill went down his back and he dropped down to his knees, groveling and bowing as low as he could as if begging a deity not to strike him down. This foolish display only further angered him.

“The hell are you-?”

“My name is Lee Minwoo!” he blurted out. “I work at a jewelry store. I live in a small apartment in downtown Seoul. My number, address, email, date of birth: anything! Just say the word. I'm in your debt!”

He was desperately begging at this point. The situation had drawn a crowd as people looked on at the dramatic scene. At the limit of his very low tolerance, Hyesung looked around embarrassed then back down at the short man whose hands were up in prayer.

“Ya,” he hissed lowly. “Get up. Have you no sense of dignity?”

“ _I_ think so. _”_  Minwoo confessed bashfully grinning.

“Eeish!” Hyesung cursed making a fist. “Just get up.”

“Ah, ok.” he said obediently following Hyesung back to his room.

Slamming the door shut behind him he hobbled across the floor to the window and pressed his head against the cold window, bringing a little relief to his growing migraine. Minwoo sighed and slowly crept over.

“Um....”

“What?!” he yelled angrily.

“I know we just met and all, but I try my best to keep my word.” Minwoo was speaking with a serious and intense tone now. Without turning Hyesung listened tentatively to his plea. “ I really meant it when I said I would try to make it up to you. If I have to visit you every day after work, run errands for you, spend my days off volunteering, anything. I  _will_  make it up to you. You were hurt because of my carelessness, and the food your wife so lovingly prepared-”

Hyesung snorted and burst out into laughter.. Minwoo looked on unsure of how to react when he turned around and sighed after relieving his momentary hysteria.

“My wife didn't make that. I'm unmarried.”

“Oh, uhm, all the same.” he blushed, shyly looking away from Hyesung.

“Yeah.” he sighed.

They stood quietly for a moment. Hyesung's rage was diluted in his laughter, thinking of how hard Jin would have laughed if he'd heard Minwoo's comment. Minwoo struggled against his urge to stare at Hyesung, It wasn't until he laughed that he'd noticed how beautiful the man was. Perhaps it was rude or offensive to think a man as “beautiful” but he couldn't help the thought as he stood with his back against the clear blue sky. Thin rays of the morning sun beamed into the room, streaking parts of his long straight hair with highlights that made him seem beyond radiant.

“Hey....” Minwoo began shyly.

“Yea?” he replied dryly with his head cocked to the side.

“What is your name?” he asked politely.

“Hyesung...Shin Hyesung.” he replied.

“”Hyesung...ssi...I'll start today.” he said with determination. “I'll buy you lunch, and if you don't mind I'll come by whenever I have the time. If you'll let me.”

Reading his expression Hyesung could see his sincerity, but did he want to bother with such a reckless guy? Pondering his choices he came to the conclusion that he had nothing else to do. Maybe if he could have more to occupy his time things wouldn't get to him as much. Maybe even for a little while. He took a deep breath in and out and grabbed his crutches. Walking away in silence he headed towards the door pass Minwoo who stood firmly in his place.

“Fine.” he finally said reluctantly. “You better bring something good. I haven't eaten all day thanks to you. I gotta go to PT now so just stay out of my room til then.”

Minwoo's heart almost jumped out of his chest. Not being the type to abandon his responsibility to others he felt so much relief being given the chance to make up for what he'd done. On top of that, he was overjoyed being given the opportunity to get to know Hyesung a little better. He turned to Hyesung who looked at him oddly observing his sudden surge of enthusiasm. Minwoo grinned.

“Don't worry. I'll bring you something good.” he promised and dashed out of the room disappearing down the hallway.

Hyesung sighed deeply and shook his head.

_What did I just get myself into?_


	5. Move With Me

 Just pass the rehab's recreational area was the gym, a room well stocked with all the equipment required for various physical and occupational therapy needs. Crowded with patients of all levels of injury from spinal chord injuries to car accidents the room was bustling with the sounds of strenuous workout sessions and words of encouragement from therapists.

Hyesung headed towards an exercise mat elevated above the ground like a table where his physical therapist was finishing up with another patient. He stopped and thought of turning back so he wouldn't interrupt their session but was spotted. The muscular therapist smiled warmly and gestured him to come over as he assisted his patient into their wheelchair.

“Thank you so much Mr.Kim.” said the blushing middle-aged woman as she unlocked her wheels.

“No need to thank me.” he replied graciously waving as she rolled away. “Hyesung, good morning.”

Kim Dongwan was a man with a very welcoming presence. Friendly, funny and kind it was impossible not to like him and his good looks didn't hurt those chances either. Dark hair, good muscular build, smiling eyes, considerate, helpful and a warm personality, he was someone others admired. The job of a physical therapist wasn't simply a matter of work for him and his patients felt that sincerity whenever they were with him. Hyesung was no different in that sentiment.

He slowly sat down on the blue rubber mat and Dongwan took his crutches laying them carefully out of the way of him or any passersby. Glancing at Hyesung he could see the fatigue still lingering in his face. Grabbing a short round stool with wheels he sat down and rolled up in front of him.

“I would say good morning if it looked like you were having one.” he joked trying to lighten his mood. Hyesung sighed deeply.

“It's been...a bit hectic.” he confessed.

“Ah.” nodded Dongwan. “Well, how about we get you started on some leg lifts and you can tell me all about it. If you want to that is.”

“Sure.” replied Hyesung.

His direct instructions for the exercise were as follows: Sitting with your back straight and shoulders back, slowly lift one leg from the knee up and back down while keeping the opposite foot planted flat on the floor. Do 3 sets of ten per leg, taking short breaks so the muscles can relax during every interval. In the past week or so, this exercise had proven difficult due to his swollen left leg. It was prescribed by Dr. Mun that he'd avoid it completely until enough fluid came off to minimize the risk of his blood pressure going up or putting too much strain on the joints from lifting the access weight. He'd only been able to due the bare minimum during PT, thereby hindering his recovery. It was frustrating, As eager as he was to get started again, he also felt anxious as he sat there staring at his leg too nervous to lift it.

Noticing his hesitation Dongwan got up and left, quickly returning with an orange juice.

“Drink this first and take a few breaths.” he said handing him the tiny plastic container.

“Thank you.” said Hyesung with a small bow as he took it. He quickly gulped it down, inhaling and exhaling deeply when he was done. Dongwan throw the trash away and sat back down.

“Better?”

“Yes.”

“Hyesung-ssi.” began Dongwan with a concerned glance. “If you'd like, I can move our session to this afternoon. You can rest a bit more and get some more food in you.”

“Oh, no, please don't inconvenience yourself.” Hyesung replied shyly feeling a little guilty thinking he'd caused him trouble.

“It's no inconvenience at all.” he smiled brightly. “My patients, my friends, are never an inconvenience. Besides, I can't have you trying to get better while not putting your full effort into it. I'm not a slave driver!”

Dongwan let out a hardy laugh and Hyesung stared at him strangely. He found himself thinking that he was very much like that eccentric doctor and shook his head at the thought. Both trying to lighten your spirits when your down with some silly gesture to distract you, like offering candy to a crying child.

 _These guys._ He laughed in his head and smiled.

“If you're sure..” he began to say, but Dongwan was already handing him his crutches.

“I'll move my schedule around and come to get you later when I have an idea of what time I have available. If you feel more comfortable, I'll work with you in the room for a few days until you get used to things again.”

“Thank you so much. I really am sorry for the trouble.”

“No, not at all.” Dongwan said while guiding him through standing. “Just take your time. I'm just as eager to see you get better, but if you rush through the process then you'll go backwards again. You don't want that, do you?”

“No,” sighed Hyesung finally on his feet.

He knew the truth in what he said, embarrassed to admit to himself that he'd given up entirely at some point during his healing process. Giving into his depression after an argument with his father he stopped coming to therapy and moving about altogether,. That's what led to his leg swelling, not getting enough circulation. Hyesung was sure this was what Dongwan was referring to. Thinking about Jin's note, he realized that there were several people who he caused to worry. Junjin, Andy, Eric...and Dongwan, and now even the rude stranger Minwoo.

“I'll walk you back to your room. This can count as the first 5-10 minutes of your session and I'll take that time off later.”

“Yes.” he said lowly still lost in thought. “Thank you.”

“Of course of course.” smiled Dongwan seeing his perplexed expression. “Now let's see how those legs are doing.”

Upon getting back to his room Hyesung received his morning meds from Andy. Embarrassed he frantically explained the situation involving his sincerely prepared food.

“Treat me to lunch when you recover.” That was his response. Simple, forgiving, and warm. The man was simply too kind for his own good, thought Hyesung who felt sorry as well as grateful.

He sighed and retreated to his bed to take a nap. Reluctantly he admitted his excitement for lunch time, when Minwoo would return. Was it curiosity or anxiety? He didn't know. Despite his skepticism, he conceded to his excitement. Perhaps this feeling, fleeting as it seemed, was enough for now.


	6. Let It Go

 Kimbap, mandugook, jjajangmyun, nakji bokkeum, ddeokbokki, kimchi, bean sprout soup, and .....Hyesung stared in awe from his bed as Minwoo gestured his friend to lay out the carefully contained dishes atop the table. He thanked the man and shared a bro hug before he departed and then sat with Hyesung whilst laying Tupperware before him.

“Please, enjoy.” he said politely placing chopsticks and a bowl in front of him.

“This is, a bit much...” he replied shyly eyeing the dishes in all their aromatic splendor. “You didn't have to do all of this. Not to this extent...”

Minwoo studied his expression. So cute. As he stared Hyesung's head was bowed lightly and the angered man he met earlier that day practically vanished behind the veil of the fragile flower who sat across from him. Bashful, nervous and receding: he was even prettier than he first thought.

“It's not a big deal.” Minwoo smiled warmly. “It's the least I could do. Besides, you probably didn't eat if your girlfriend's meal got ruined.”

“Ya, cut that out!” Hyesung snapped while blushing. “He is not my girlfriend!”

“He?” Minwoo raised a brow.

A knocking at the door directed their attention away from the conversation.

“”Come in.” permitted Hyesung, relieved at the momentary distraction, just to be met with the source of the problem. Andy walked in greeting him with a small wave and his medication, along with his care-free friend Jun-Jin.

“Oh, you have a guest already.” Andy observed feeling relieved that more than Jin had come to see him.

“Who is....” Jin began not wanting to sound rude yet perplexed enough by the stranger's presence to ask. He knew all of Hyesung's inner circle, (and it wasn't a very big one), with himself at its center. If the man was a friend, then he would know it. Having only left the night before, the situation was too vexing. Minwoo stood up and bowed respectfully towards the two men.

Hyesung huffed.

“This is a new acquaintance of mine.”

“Acquaintance...?” Jun-Jin murmured studying the shorter man,

“My name is Lee Minwoo.” he announced with perfect manners. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yes, the same. My name is Park Choong-jae. I am a close friend of Hyesung's.”

“Ah, ye.” replied Minwoo.

“Jinnie-ya, apparently Andy is my girlfriend.” Hyesung joked nonchalantly.

“What?” he coughed surprised in response staring at Andy who was just as confused.

“Andy-ssi, this is the man I mentioned from this morning.” he informed.

“Ah.....oh,  _that_.” he said with clarity then chuckled. “I see.”

“What?” asked Jun-Jin feeling left out of the puzzle that seemed to have been solved.

“It's a long story.” sighed Hyesung rolling his eyes.

“I think I've seen you here before. Not sure.” Andy remarked trying to recall when or where.

“Maybe?” he replied folding his arms and putting a finger to his chin thinking on it. “I don't come by too often but I do have a friend recovering here.”

“Ah really? Well, my name is Andy, Andy Lee. As a nurse I will try my best to keep them healthy.”

“Ah ye, thank you.” Minwoo said gratefully adding a little bow. “Also, it seems I got the wrong idea about the meal from earlier. I feel sorry to you as well as Hyesung-ssi.”

“No, not a problem.” Andy laughed warmly. “I said this to him earlier, but it's alright. I don't mind such a thing. Choong-jae-ssi at least had some and enjoyed it so I am happy enough with that. It's really not a big deal.”

“If you say so...” Minwoo trailed off. Andy smiled, like he always did and after giving Hyesung his meds, he excused himself to see to his other patients.

“Jinnie-ya, Minoo-ssi....” Hyesung called out suddenly and the men turned to him. “Sit down and help me eat all of this.”

“Ah ye.” responded Minwoo obediently returning to his seat.

“So...” began Jun-Jin as he also took a seat at the table without touching a thing. “....what's all of this about a girlfriend and food?”

Hyesung and Minwoo exchanged glances, one twisted with anger trying to resist a bit of laughter and the other embarrassed and slightly afraid. The taller man huffed and began recalling the situation with dramatic emphasis. Minwoo didn't seem to mind but instead was amused with his style of story-telling.

Jun-Jin, however, was not. He listened tentatively while studying Minwoo's expressions. It was hard enough to accept that his friend was okay with the stranger, after having such an unpleasant encounter. Something about Minwoo's obedience put him on edge. Watching Hyesung's theatrical retelling of their story, grinning whenever he said his name, hanging on every word. It made him second guess his real intentions.

“So, you plan to take responsibility?” he questioned bluntly.

“Yes.” replied the short one. “If I have to bring him lunch everyday until he forgives me. I will.”

“Is that so?”

Hyesung looked at his friend, having detected his guard being put up. He knew his over-protective nature, and given the circumstances knew where it came from. He was surprised at himself for conceding to Minwoo's frivolous show of apology. Of course he'd expect him to be as well. Moreover, he was pushy, insistent, and it was enough to make anyone at least a little bit wary. Was it just his way of showing his sincerity? Or was it something else?

Jun-Jin continued to grill Minwoo, who became uneasy under the pressure and looked to Hyesung for relief. Hyesung coughed.

“Could you give me and my friend a minute alone please?”  
He looked at him warily.

“Ah, sure.” smiled Minwoo. “I have to go to the restroom anyway. Excuse me.”

He made his way out the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Jun-Jin folded his arms and leaned back in his seat.

“He's a funny guy.” he said nonchalantly.

“Ya, Jinnie-ya.”

“I'm not trying to be ungrateful,” Jun-Jin interrupted before Hyesung could say anything else. “but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. What possessed you to let that guy come in here like this? It's strange for you to let your guard down.”

“I know.” sighed Hyesung. “But I'm starting to think that's part of why I'm not getting any better.”

Jin frowned.

“What do you mean?” he asked, concerned.

“The other day, you sat here with me, comforted me.” began Hyesung while reflecting. “It occurred to me that maybe I rely on you too much. Maybe crashing into Minwoo was a sign that I need to let someone else in. I don't wanna burden you with me all the time.”

“Ya Shin Hyesung.” snapped Jin, who leaned forward and lightly laid his hand on top of his fragile friend's. Hyesung jumped a little, surprised by the sudden action.

“You are never a burden.”

Jun-Jin was looking in his eyes when he said it. His face, stern and absolute in what he spoke. The touch of his hand brought back the warmth of his arms once again. Hyesung blushed and drew his hand back. Jin slowly pulled his hand away and let it slide off the edge of the table then sighed deeply.

“I can be a bit overbearing huh.” Jun-Jin confessed modestly.

“A little.” smirked Hyesung. “But I get it. Thank you, and don't worry. Minwoo really does seem like a sincere person.”

“Maybe.” his friend rolled his eyes and folded his arms again. “I'll join you for lunch when I can, and I'll see for myself.”

“Ya! Jinnie-ya!” snapped Hyesung. “Didn't you hear me? I'm a man too. I can look out for myself.”

“Yea sure.” he snorted.

Hyesung scowled and reached over to hit him, which felt like nothing. That was his childish way of conceding. Jun-Jin grinned knowing the signs of his defeat. So childish. So cute. How could anyone help but tease him? Minwoo returned after taking his precious time stalling for an opening. Coming into the room, Jun-Jin's laughter and Hyesung's playful anger gave him the assurance he needed. Whatever suspicion Jin had earlier died down a little as they got to know him better. He really seemed like a good guy, but he decided to watch him closely regardless. He felt willing, especially if it meant there was another reason to make Hyesung smile. It was gonna be okay: for now.  


	7. Hurts

 A couple of weeks flew by without Hyesung noticing as lunch with Minwoo and Jun-Jin had become a tradition. Taking his weight every morning at 5, the doctors were seeing a definite improvement with the loss of fluid in his leg, which made it all the more comfortable for him to move about. Dongwan noted his more upbeat demeanor coming into his sessions and felt proud at the change, as it was the best thing for his condition. As they wrapped up their hour long work-out, he stood proudly beside his patient watching him finish up on the treadmill.

“Uwaah, look at you go.” he cheered clapping as the timer ticked down to the last 30 seconds..

The tips of his long hair were dampened by sweat, his eyes closed while his slender arms gripped the handles of the machine while running, his mouth hung open, gasping. Exhausted, he let out a sigh of relief as the timer alarm went off and his therapist turned the tiny mechanism off. Carefully stepping down he sat down and threw his head back.

“Aigoo, aren't  _you_  manly now?” joked Dongwan. He was too tired to curse and retaliate He just laughed dryly and rolled his eyes.

“So....” he asked breathlessly. “This is good enough?”

“Well,” began Dongwan pulling up a short wheeled stool and sitting beside him. “all we had to train you for was basic mobility. However, in order to send you home your endurance needs to be adequate because you have a lot of steps and steep hills in your area. You are at the point that you can walk without the crutches with very little pain and your swelling has gone down. I think after two more weeks of therapy, maybe a bit more depending on some other things, and more work on your upper arm strength; you'll be good to go.”

“Really?” he asked gleefully waiting for confirmation.

“Yes.” replied the kind fit man. “You did good today. Our session is over and seeing as it's almost five o'clock the gym is about to close.”

“Ah ye.” Hyesung nodded, smiling while getting up to leave. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“No thanks needed.” Dongwan waved. “You did all the hard work. Thank yourself.”

Hyesung blushed.

“Hey, you told me you were experienced in Taekwondo.” inquired the muscular therapist.

“Yea?” he replied, surprised that Dongwan remembered him telling him such a trivial thing when he first started his treatment.

“Maybe after you leave here you could start training again.” suggested the man with determination. “That will be something to look forward to. Right?”

 _Ah._ thought Hyesung happily.  _I'm going to miss this guy once I'm gone. I'll have to invite him and Andy out sometime once I'm settled._

“Ye.” he smiled.

Dongwan gave him a friendly pat on the back and wished him well. After exchanging farewells he left the room and headed down the hallway. Feeling light, not limping, and with only a small twinge of pain from taking a step felt good overall. When was the last time he felt such relief? To ever think that doing this much of therapy to get better would be so impossible for him was foolish, and he finally admitted it. He'd all but forgotten why he felt so powerless in the first place. Reaching his room, slowly opening the door, his smile faded as his eyes met with an unwelcome guest. In that moment, he immediately remembered why.

Sitting at the table, staring back with the same brown eyes, a grouchy looking middle-aged man wearing a dark gray trench coat stared him down. He coughed, covering his mouth with a tissue and raised his weak looking hand to call him over. He moved away from the door letting it fly loosely behind him. He quietly crossed the room, sat down and looked up at him.

“Father.” Hyesung said meekly, trembling as the words left his mouth.

“So, you're walking.” he said in a grungy voice.

“What do you care?” he asked scornfully. “I've been in here for months and now you show up? What could you possibly want from me? What about Mom?”

“She's dead!” he shouted banging his fist on the table and standing up. He point a shaking finger at him. “You killed her!”

His words echoed repeatedly in his head. Aggressively. Strikingly. Painfully. His heart stopped as they sank in and an unbearable rage erupted inside of him.

“What?” he coughed angrily. “What did you just say to me?”

“She suffered worried sick over you.” barked the older man “It was too much for her heart to bare when you didn't come home for a while. Now she's gone. Are you done rebelling, with that homosexual nonsense? Take responsibility and come home quickly.”

“Whose fault...do you think that is?” Hyesung struggled to ask despite his petrified heart. “How...how dare you?”

His father ignored him and grabbed his coat. Hyesung also stood, and as he started to leave he grabbed his arm. His father gasped looking back at him offended by his aggression.

“Those lights were blinding..” Hyesung began while shaking, tears streaming down his face as he spoke. “The only face I could see when I thought I'd die was hers. Mom knew. She knew about me all along and loved me anyway. I put up with your abuse because of her.”

Without realizing it his grip tightened and the old man shut his eyes while cringing in pain.

“That night I told you because I was breaking.” he confessed tearfully. “I told you so that she wouldn't see my suffering face while enduring the secret. I thought that after it was out in the open maybe I could dedicate myself completely to make you proud, to make her proud. Now she's gone and you have the nerve to say that to me!”

The door that never closed all the way swung open and Minwoo walked in happily with a container of food he brought as a surprise for Hyesung's dinner. The smile faded when he felt the tension in the room. He didn't know much about Hyesung's personal life to a certain extent so the man in his grasp was unfamiliar. As angry or irritated as Hyesung would get, he's never done anything like that. He wasn't disrespectful or aggressive, but the look on his face was one of a man on the edge.

“You disrespectful little punk!” yelled his father. “I'm doing you a favor. I didn't disown you because she begged me. If it wasn't for her-”

“You'd just continue to hate me quietly for no reason.” Hyesung interrupted. He turned his head and looked at the clueless man observing the scene. Minwoo gulped.

“Ah, uhm, I'm sorry. The door was open.” he explained to him. “I'll come back_”

He was interrupted by a wicked laughter escaping the older man's mouth.

“So this is what you've been doing all this time. This guy your play thing? You've been mocking me this whole time you ungrateful faggot?!”

Minwoo's face changed and he silently sat the food down on the table.

“Hyesung-ssi, let him go.” he said apathetically.

“What?” he questioned surprised. Minwoo put his hand on his.

“People like him...you shouldn't dirty your hands touching.”

The older man stared baffled at the stranger and Hyesung let go. He gathered himself and shuffled over to the door in a hurry.

“Never return to my house! You are no son of mine! You're nothing to me!”

“I won't.” Hyesung promised. “The part of me that loved you as a son died when she did!”

With that, he said nothing else and hurried away slamming the door shut behind him.  


	8. Honesty

 Hyesung fell back into his chair, his arms falling at his sides powerlessly as tears dripped off his chin. Minwoo still held his hand, staring at him remorsefully not knowing what to say to console him.

“It's funny.” Hyesung laughed. “This felt like some scene from a drama.”

Minwoo listened as he vented.

“Ah, well, I didn't like him much anyway.” he lied painfully faking confidence. “No father pressing me to become his shadow? No mother telling me to fight against it when I can't? Good. Good...” He was hysterical in the madness of it all, trying to smile through the tears in front of a friend. What was the point of such pride? He was practically screaming for help and it was impossible to hide. Impossible to resist.

“Hyesung-ssi.” Minwoo said in a hushed voice.

“What?”

Minwoo let his frail hand slip from his grasp and cupped Hyesung's damp face in his hands. They felt so warm and unexpectedly strong it shocked the taller man. That dead feeling drowning in denial from a moment ago slipped away as his mind became preoccupied by the man in front of him. He peered up and their eyes met as Minwoo's breath touched his skin.

“That man doesn't see what I see. How could he?” he said in a serious voice. “You're beautiful.”

Hyesung's thoughts stirred as Minwoo closed his eyes while lifting his face, slowly bringing his him closer. His mind was a mess with everything that happened but became focused on Minwoo's as their lips touched. Surprised and irritated, Hyesung pushed him away, causing him to stumble barely losing his footing.

“Wh-what are you doing?” he questioned bashfully.

“I'm sorry.” Minwoo apologized. “You just looked so sad and I couldn't think of anything else.”

“The hell do you mean by that?!” he cursed angrily.

“I like you!” confessed the shorter man.

He was taken aback by his words as they became one more thing on a pile of clutter in his head. Like? How? Why? In the time he got to know the man, he'd become aware of his affectionate tendencies. Playfully teasing him all the time, he didn't think anything of it. Despite his disdain for the invasion of his personal space he'd gotten used to it. This was different. This was serious. Intense.

“You were upset so I wanted to comfort you.” he continued. “You don't deserve what he said to you and you have the right to get mad about it. No father should ever speak that way about his son. And your mom-”

“Get out.” growled Hyesung.

“Hyesung-ss-”

“I said get out!”

Minwoo obeyed in silence, his heart sinking as he left Hyesung alone, regretting his honesty. What was he thinking? Was he thinking at all? He knew the answer and was ashamed of it. His rejection felt like a knife in his chest, painful and slowly striking at him with every step as he walked away. What scared him wasn't the hurt in his voice, or the anger in his eyes, but the possibility that Hyesung would never look his way again.

Hyesung sank in his chair. The news of his mother delivered in such a way was simply mortifying. His father's words struck his temples with throbbing pain. He looked around, feeling as though his room suddenly became so vast and cold. He sighed while rising from his seat. There was too to think about. What arrangements would that old man make? Would he have the decency to honor her more in death than in life? Where would he go once he recovers now that things were so messy?

“ _I wanted to comfort you.....I like you”_

He clinched his teeth as Minwoo's words swam about in his head.

_What kind of joke was that? Comfort? He took advantage of me. How could he?_

He felt himself lying. His knew his words were spoken with sincerity, as they always were. He was the affectionate type after all, so why was this so surprising? He played around often, calling him a pretty boy, making him mad and laughing at his reaction. Maybe he was trying to cheer him up, maybe...

_But his kiss was..._

“I like you.”

Hyesung clenched his hand and shook in anger. How could he do that? After giving him the chance to prove his sincerity, even letting himself be seen in a bad state. Jun-Jin was right. He wasn't the type to let his guard down easily, and Minwoo reminded him of why. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Why was he so mad? Was it because Minwoo, someone who he grew to think of as a friend, was bold enough to do such a thing? Or was he mad at himself for enabling him? Either way it was decided now not to see him, at least for a while. Surely Minwoo got the hint when he snapped. Right now, there were too many things to think about, and he, was not one of them.


	9. Dark

Two more weeks trickled by as Hyesung's road to recovery continued. Andy, Dongwan and Eric all tried reassuring him of his potential to become independent once again. “The better you get, the sooner you can regain control over your life.” they would say to him whenever a hint of depression showed on his face. However their encouragement was falling on deaf ears.  
No one came by during the time. He spent his days in silent contemplation looking up at the evening sky, wishing he could fly freely through the cotton candy mist of clouds. Yet that tempting denial wasn't enough to send him soaring. His wings were weighed down by reality, grounded by the pain it caused him.  
Minwoo respectively yet reluctantly kept his distance. It pained them both each time they passed by one another during his visits to see his other friend. Yet both men knew it was necessary until they could calmly talk things over. Never having the opportunity to reconcile, the situation only proved more disheartening with each passing day.  
Jun-jin was swamped with work. As a programmer for Samsung his workload was surprisingly balanced. He could always spare the time for Hyesung during lunch or paid days off at a time due to their generous employee benefits. Things suddenly became hectic when black hats tried to access their software and some very valuable secret data. In their failed attempt a lot of information was corrupted or lost. Jun-Jin's department had to work over-time in order to recover the data and put up new firewalls. Needless to say, his presence was scarce.  
His sad excuse of a father took all precautions possible to avoid Hyesung, presumably out of embarrassment and maybe even fear. The miserable old man held his mother's wake without him. After hearing the news of her passing from Hyesung. Jun-Jin, despite his chaotic schedule, practically begged on his knees to go in his stead, to which the man complied. As if there wasn't already a mound of salt in his wounds, he even went as far as actually going through with officially disowning him. He released the hold on his job at the clinic and sent his belongings to Jun-Jin who rented a storage room for him. Mr. Shin senior only called once and informed him of his mother's burial site. That direct, formal, disconnected 2 minute long phone conversation would probably be the last of any the two would ever have.  
Broken, homeless, jobless and alone: Hyesung couldn't figure out what was worse. He wished the pain he experienced fresh from the accident returned. That, at least, could be remedied. There were pills and therapy for that. With this, however, no amount of sleep or denial could offload the weight in his chest. Even his prayers felt unheard. He was at his limit. What could he do now?


	10. Oil and Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Implied Ricsung. Make of it what you will. Also from here on out I will no longer commit to my strategy for chapter titles, as it is sometimes difficult to convey a summarized feeling of what I wrote from their song titles. I apologize for the inconsistency but I will still try to do it as often as I can whenever something fits. Thank you for still reading and all your patience and understanding. Enjoy ^^

Hyesung drooped off the side of his bed, staring blankly at his legs. He was at the point where walking became a normal mindless thing. No pain, no swelling, no effort. There came a light rapping at the door and without hearing his own voice he granted permission for entry. In walked Dr. Mun, greeting him with a friendly hello after closing the door behind him.  
“Guessing it's a bad morning...” he began as his smile faded at the sight of Hyesung's slumped posture. “Ya know, that's bad for your back. Let's not give ourselves any more reasons to stay in here.”   
Hyesung's response was a drug out exhausted sigh. To say without saying, he really could care less for the young doctor's attempt to advise him. It just didn't matter anymore. Eric could see the disinterest in his face. After setting his clipboard on the table he placed a chair in front of Hyesung and sat down. Leaning forward he began staring straight at him through his long brown bangs. Hyesung sat up and jerked back.  
“Ya! What are you doing, so suddenly?” he blurted out of surprise.  
“There we go.” he grinned. “A normal Hyesung response.”  
Hyesung sucked his teeth and looked away. Eric smirked noticing the slight rosy color that came to his cheeks.  
“Alright, Hyesung-ssi, all jokes aside.” he began in a serious tone of voice. “I just came in, as I always do, to check in on you. Your blood tests are good. You're doing excellent in PT and there may not be anything else that we can do for you clinically.”  
“Figures.” Hyesung pouted rolling his eyes.   
“However, as this is a rehab, we can offer some social services that will help you transition home. I came to ask if you would like to speak to a case worker.”   
Hyesung let out another exhausted sigh and turned his head back to face Eric. Studying his expression he could tell he was concerned. Although he was typically an unpredictable character he wasn't the type to let a situation go while there were still loose ends to be tied. During the time Hyesung had been his patient, Eric never once showed him anything but honest sincerity. He was a good man and probably an even better friend. Maybe it was time to let go of a bit of some of his bitterness and try to show him some gratitude. Of course for Hyesung, that was a lot easier said than done. However he couldn't deny a growing feeling of dependence. If he left some things in Eric's hands, maybe things could work out and he would have just a little less on his plate.  
“Do I really have a choice?” Hyesung finally replied to which Eric's reaction was immediate joy. He practically leaped from the chair and placed it in its rightful place at the table, where he retrieved his clipboard. He walked back over to him, flashing him a smile and placing a hand on his shoulders. Hyesung didn't flinch, but his eyes focused on the hand, then at Eric.  
“As your doctor, I have a lot of direct involvement in what happens to your case. I will only discharge you once I know you will be alright completely. I promise you, nothing will be overlooked. You know I got your back right?”  
“Yea.” he replied shyly, still a little distracted by the firm hand on his shoulder. Eric removed it and gave him a warm smile, displaying his good intentions.  
“Alright then, I have work to do. Have them page me if anything changes.”  
“Ne.” Hyesung responded thoughtlessly watching Eric walk over to the door, swinging it open as he began to leave.  
“Ya....Eric!” Hyesung called out suddenly. The young doctor froze in his steps and slowly turned on his heals to look back at the man who'd never once acknowledged him affectionately. The ring of his name in that heavenly voice danced in his head as he stared at the beautiful Hyesung, who's face was once again turned away, probably embarrassed by his own boldness.  
“Ne, Hyesung-ssi?” he asked with anticipation.  
“Just, uhm...” the pretty boy began bashfully trying to get his words out as quickly as possible. “You've done a lot more than you needed to do for me. So I...truly....thank you.”   
Hyesung wasn't as hard to read as much as he wanted to be. That conflicted and automatic defensive behavior of his was actually very endearing. It was probably why he tried to pry his emotions out by annoying him half the time. Hyesung's reactions were always so modest that he couldn't even hide his honest emotions, despite what he tried to convey.   
Sitting in front of him now, trying so hard to be open and sincere, was just one of those precious moments that Eric always wanted to see. This only proved to him how much harder he had to work for him to come out and say the more satisfying things like “You're my friend.” “I trust you.” or anything further. Of course, that would take some time and effort. This was good enough for now though.   
“Aw.” Eric teased grinning devilishly. “Our Hyesungie-ya is so cute.”  
Hyesung scowled and huffed, folding his arms angrily.   
“......I hate you. Get out.” he said coldly.  
“I love you too Hyesung-ssi! Bye-bye!” Eric said cutely while frantically waving the clipboard before pulling the door shut behind him.  
Hyesung dropped on his back sprawled across the bed and closed his eyes.  
“Ass.” he laughed envisioning that goofy look on Eric's face before drifting off to sleep.


	11. A Gentleman's Dignity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See if you can guess the kpop artist who makes a cameo in this chapter ^_-

The recreation area and pantry was empty except for one or two other patients in wheelchairs who stashed pudding cups in their laps and rolled away after greeting Hyesung. He moved into the small kitchenette area and opened the refrigerator, studying its contents. Deciding on soda, he lifted the cold can of cola from the middle shelf, letting the cool sweat melt against his skin. He savored the chill going up his arm as he carried it over to the counter next to the sink. He grabbed a tall foam cup, filling it with ice and sat it by the beverage. Just as he heard the crisp sound of the can opening he could also hear a commotion rising from around the corner.  
“Where are you going hyung?” asked a softly voiced man as his steps grew louder drawing closer to the open door of the pantry.  
“Well.” sighed the other, who Hyesung recognized to be Minwoo. “I made a friend of mine upset. I kept my distance out of respect but it's killing me not to talk to him. It just doesn't feel right.”  
“Ah ne.” agreed the other. “Aren't you worried he'll snap at you?”  
Minwoo laughed.  
“That's just it. I can't allow myself to care about that anymore.” he confessed shamelessly. “I'd rather have him yell telling me to get lost again than to never go see him again or at least know that he's okay. Besides, that's just one of his charms.”  
Hyesung grew uneasy as he listened and their voices grew louder. What would he do when he saw him? Get mad again? Tell him he should reflect some more? Were any of these thoughts actually what Hyesung felt?  
Not wanting to confront his confusion, the tall brunette hastily emptied the dark drink into his cup of ice. His hand trembled as his heart raced while the steps echoed in his head. Quickly the foam of the cool soda rose to the top and fizzed over the lip of the cup. Surprised Hyesung slammed the can down onto the counter to rush in attempt to clean the leaking fluid. Panicked he looked around and without noticing knocking the cup over. His eyes widened at the sight.  
“Eeeiiiisssshhhh!!!!!!” he cursed angrily.  
“Hyesung?” Minwoo panicked, immediately recognizing his enraged voice. He rushed into the kitchenette with his friend and ran over to him.  
“Hey! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” interrogated the worried man.  
“N-No.” denied Hyesung, backing up as Minwoo's friend rushed to the paper towels. Tall, black wavy mid-length hair, and a calm masculine face, the handsome stranger without question began to clean up.  
“Ya, Dong-Wook-ah.” Minwoo called to him.  
“Ne hyung?” he replied without turning away from his task.  
“I'll catch up with you later. I'm going to see that he gets cleaned up.”  
“Yea, alright. I'll take care of this.” he smiled without complaint. “Later.”  
“Thank you.” Hyesung said meekly letting himself be pulled away by Minwoo. He could hear a distant “no problem” as they left the area.   
Hyesung stared forward mindlessly, drifting as Minwoo led him down the hallway to his own room. He hadn't noticed the soda covering his hands and forearms. They were glued together by the stickiness on his palm and the sweat on Minwoo's. The cool air of the facility chilled his wet arms and he shivered, and almost instantly Minwoo's held his hand tighter. Before long they were back in the room.   
“Sit down.” ordered Minwoo. Hyesung obeyed quietly and sat on the edge of his bed while studying his actions, questioning his own silent compliance.  
What's wrong with you? He asked himself as Minwoo searched the closer and pulled out a basin, washcloth and towel.   
You should be pissed. Kick him out right now. The voice in his head insisted. He was ignoring it, still staring blankly while Minwoo dipped into the bathroom and started to run the water. There were a whole new set of new questions swimming around that took president over his consciousness. Who was that guy? Who was he to Minwoo? Why am I not mad? Why can't I make him leave?  
Minwoo emerged from the bathroom and sat the basin full of soapy water, washcloth and towel on the table and rolled it over to Hyesung.  
What exactly, do I miss?  
“You should really get clean.” he suggested handing him the washcloth. “Your hands are sticky.”  
“Yea..” he finally said retrieving the cloth. Silently he dipped it into the warm sudsy water, wrung it out and began to go over his hands. Minwoo watched intently as the wet cloth brushed over Hyesung's pale fingers, in-between them, around them. Feeling a growing restlessness he turned away quickly and went over to the table by the window to sit down.  
Ya, Lee Minwoo! He scolded himself focusing on the window even though the blinds were shielding any possible view of the sky. This is exactly what got you put in the doghouse in the first place. You're here as a friend...just be...a friend. He adjusted the collar of his T-shirt and coughed.  
“Well, that could have been worse huh.” Minwoo joked laughing.  
“Your friend seems nice.” remarked Hyesung clear out the blue. The question caught Minwoo off guard, and surely he couldn't figure out what the always complex Hyesung could have been thinking when he asked it.   
“Ah, that kid.” Minwoo exclaimed happily, feeling relieved by the break in tension and ignoring the source. “He's a good kid. I met him seven years ago. He was the one who was in here when we met. Only a few years younger than us too. You should see his CD collection, there's like a thousand albums there. It's amazing.”  
“I see.” Hyesung replied. “Sounds like an interesting character.”   
“Yea...” Minwoo laughed awkwardly. “...yea...”  
The two became quiet again. The only sounds that could be heard were distant IV machines sounding off, the water dripping off the washcloth as Hyesung squeezed it once again, and the bustling commotion of other patients conversing down the hall. After washing his arms Hyesung dropped the cloth into the water and grabbed the towel.  
“Hyesungie-ya...” Minwoo started turning to face him with a more collected facial expression. “...are you still mad at me?”  
“...I don't know.” confessed Hyesung.  
“What don't you know?” he retorted.  
“I don't know!” he shouted back. Minwoo huffed and shook his head.  
“What?” growled Hyesung.  
“You're a funny guy Hyesung.” smirked Minwoo. “You missed me, didn't you?”   
“Eish.” spat Hyesung hiding his face in the towel. “You really have no dignity.”  
“Guess I don't.” laughed Minwoo rising from his seat. Slowly he moved towards Hyesung. “I've been called stupid on a number of occasions too. A special kind of stupid. I hate it but, maybe that's it.”  
“Maybe.” Hyesung agreed passively, feeling heat come to his cheeks, praying that he wasn't making an embarrassing expression. Minwoo was closer now and as he braced himself for contact he was surprised when the shorter man simply patted the sides of his shoulders. He grinned and Hyesung stared up at him.  
“I'm glad you're okay.” Minwoo assured him sincerely. Hyesung said nothing as Minwoo walked away, but his eyes followed him to the door. “I'll...see you around.”  
Hyesung exhaled and it felt as though he was never breathing at all. He had allowed Minwoo to touch him. The anger he felt before melted away. That firm secure grip of his hand as they raced to the room. The leer in his eyes as he moved toward him. The warmth of his smile as he expressed his honest concern for him. An emptiness overcame him from the memory of it all  
Was his presence always so impressionable? Had it been that long since he felt such comfort? Was his heart so lonely that it didn't matter where that came from?  
His head was flooded with an unknown kind of anticipation and insecurity. That familiar intimacy made him wary of his own thoughts about Minwoo. He simply didn't know what to make of it. Hyesung's heart pounded in his chest as he contemplated it. He hunched over and buried his face into the towel.   
Shin Hyesung....you're the one...with no dignity.   
He sat alone in his room with his emotions causing a whirlwind in his head, accompanied only by the boisterous noise in the hallway. As it drifted in and out of his ears he remained coiled up at the edge of the bed, while the suds melted into the cold water on the table beside him.


	12. All Your Dreams

“Busy busy busy. It's a miracle I made it.” Park Choong-jae thought aloud walking down the quiet hallway of the facility. Still dressed in his work attire, (a simple black business suit and white button up with tie), it was clear that he rushed over as soon as his shift ended. Nothing could contain his excitement about having the next few days off. Or his eagerness to see Hyesung.   
It was already 11 at night and he was sure that his friend was sleeping. Regardless of stress he was never one to miss any, and after all, he needed his beauty rest. Jin laughed at the thought, and of surprising him with his presence. He was just too cute when he pretended to be angry to hide his embarrassment. It would be a relief to see him smile after all his grief and suffering. Not only for Hyesung, but for himself.  
He bowed slightly to greet the nurse, who'd become familiar with his presence throughout Hyesung's long healing process. The sandy blonde girl giggled and bowed back.  
“Here to see your boyfriend?” she jeered tucking her grin behind the top of her med list.  
“Ya Shin-yeong.” he scolded.   
“Right right. You're gonna say “it's not like that”.” she insisted sarcastically while rolling her eyes. “Either way, it's been awhile so I'm sure he would be happy to see you.”  
“Yea....” he smiled feeling a little embarrassed by her bold implications. “I'm just gonna go in...”   
“Ok.” she smiled about to walk away when she suddenly stopped mid-step and turned back around. “Ya Jinnie-ya!”  
She had a devilish grin on her face that spread from ear to ear. He jerked back wondering why he felt surprised by it.  
“I gave him his meds and checked his vitals already, and visiting hours are unlimited since the staff knows you so....take your time.”  
“Eissh.” he cursed pretending to raise a fist. Giddy and hyperactive Shin-yeong dashed off to her duties as a night-shift nurse with several possibilities playing out in her mind.  
Jin crept into the room carefully closing the door behind him. It was dark but remembering the layout of the room found his way to the light switch and pressed it on it's dimmest setting. He could see him now, peacefully sleeping laying on his side facing the window. He snuck over to him, leaning in slightly to get a good look as his face.   
He was simply divine. His short lashes barely touched his soft round cheeks. His small lips barely parted as he inhaled and exhaled. Jin knew how he'd react if he woke him up. He'd turn from angel to demon in a split second, complaining about how close he was, how improper he was being vising so late. It was worth it to see that flustered expression. His eyes drifting open then widening with slight rouge coming to his cheeks, stammering in attempt to find words of anger to release. An honest expression that was all his to see.   
Jun-Jin extended his hand but drew it back when Hyesung groaned and rolled over to his back. He was stirring now, his hair a scattered mess atop his face that started to stick to his skin as he began to sweat. He froze watching the dazzling sight as the frail man panted, releasing long breaths from his small mouth tossing his head to the side.  
A nightmare? He pondered, but evidence proved otherwise when suddenly Hyesung's hand gripped the side of his pillow and he released a moan.   
That angelic voice struck his senses, sending a chill down his spine. He trembled at the sight and sound of him, actively attaining some sort of pleasure in his distant dreamland.   
Who are you dreaming about? He pondered, What if it's me?   
That thought sent the chill back up his spine and he shuddered. Is that what he wanted? It was hardly doubtful as he watched his friend with his eyes glazed over. The room became stuffy, as if the internal air conditioning of the building suddenly stopped. The cool air vanished from the room and as his ears burned the only chill he felt was the one driving every part of him into a frenzy. He grit his teeth and turned his back on the tempting vision. Tugging his tie loose he breathed out deeply.  
Calm down. Choong-jae. He advised himself with a hand to his forehead. He doesn't need this. You're the only one he can rely on right now. He's not ready for your feelings yet. Don't do this to him  
Another soft groan escaped from Hyesung and Jun-Jin's strong resolve became nothing more than muttering madness in his head. He bit his lip and turned back to the tempting sight laid out before him. He loomed over him, his mouth gaped opened hungrily waiting to meet Hyesung's own sweet lips. He reached his hand out to touch his face, cupping his cheek with his palm and brushing his moist mouth with his thumb.  
“Hyesung....” he whispered lowly.  
Hyesung shuddered at the sensation and he cried out:  
“Min-oo....ssi....”  
Jin froze. It felt as though his heart imploded. He could practically feel the blood draining, overflowing into every part of his body. The cold returned to the room and chilled his bones unlike it ever did before. Just as he began to retreat Hyesung's eyes fluttered open and he was immediately surprised seeing his friend so close in front of him.  
“Jinnie-ya” Hyesung gasped springing up from his back as Jin stood straight and turned to face the door.  
“Wh-what are you doing here so late?” he muttered trying to collect himself.  
“Oh...me?” Jin retorted in an almost sinister voice, laughing in a low menacing way. “I just, came to surprise you is all. Looks like I succeeded.”  
“Jinnie-ya...”  
“I..” he spoke out before Hyesung could. “I came to tell you that I was free from work for a week, but it turns out they still need me for some things, so I can't come often. That was all.”  
“Ya Jinnie-ya!” protested Hyesung.  
“I'll come by again.” he promised, still refusing to face him. “Bye.”  
Jin began to leave but he sprung from the bed and chased him to block the door.  
“Hyesung-”  
“Don't “Hyesung” me!” snapped the pretty boy. “What the hell is wrong with you? You have the nerve to sneak up on me, then get mad at me for it, then leave without saying a word? All after I haven't seen you in weeks while I've been here.....alone....suffering...without...”  
Hyesung couldn't hide his confusion even if he tried as he started choking on his words. Jun-Jin felt his frustration rising again, feeling twice as guilty as he did before he tried to touch his friend. He squeezed his hand into a fist, then released it feeling the tension leave his arm. He swallowed hard before speaking.   
“I can't stay.” confessed Jun-Jin. “I want to but I can't do anything for you. You don't want my kind of comfort. You don't want...me.”  
“That's not it!” Hyesung denied angrily. “I don't know what I want! I just don't want to be confused or hurt by this bullshit anymore. I didn't ask to have that dream. I didn't ask Minwoo to come into my life and shake it up. I didn't ask to miss you so desperately when you're gone so much that I don't wanna let you go when you're here. I didn't ask to be torn apart and broken at the same time!”  
Junjin grit his teeth as he felt a twinge in his heart. It was clear that Hyesung was hurting so bad that he couldn't hold it in. He wanted so bad to hold him tight in his arms and take it away. He wished he wasn't the cause. As much as he wanted that denial, the reality was too real. Hyesung really didn't know what he wanted, but he had to figure that out on his own. He couldn't bare to be that friend he leans on anymore, or a friend at all.  
“I'm sorry.” Jin whispered holding back tears and moved around him to get out the door. Hyesung stood alone there as it fell close falling against it once it was shut. His heart quivered as tears burned in his eyes trying to form.  
“Eish!” he cursed letting his full body weight block the door from opening.   
He cursed and cursed again as the tears pushed out falling heavily down his cheeks as he slid down against it. Crying alone he couldn't begin to sort out his feelings, about Minwoo or about Jun-Jin. Ultimately he had to make a choice. By how? Who? When that choice is made: how will things turn out?


	13. I Want

A faded streak of purple painted a misty line through the deep blue sky as the orange aura of the sun retreated in the distance. Night was coming, frustration was at it's peak, and a week of reflection did no more for Hyesung than this beautiful sunset did. That familiar feeling crept into him: defeat.

 _This scene is too familiar._ he thought, laughing at himself. _Am I really this pathetic?_

Andy's reassuring words softened his sorrows. Dongwan's strong push moved him forward with every step. Eric's childish and innocent attempts to cheer him up stirred within him an unbound joy. Jin's comforting aura surrounded him with an unwavering sense of security. Minwoo's smile moved his heart without explanation or reason. Was he really so co-dependent on these five men now? Did he even exist before they came into his life? A puppet for his father who only lived to realize his selfish ambitions. An obedient child who simply didn't want the suffering of the one who gave birth to him. Simply living, eating, sleeping, and waking up to live through others once again. He was a phantom and he wanted to feel real: finally.

_I can't live like this anymore. I'm the only one who can change it. I'm the one who has to make a decision._

Hyesung moved from the window over to his nightstand where his phone sat charging. Practically ripping the chord out he picked it up, sliding his fingers across the screen waking it up and going to the home screen. In his contacts he found Minwoo and proceeded to tap the message icon and compose. It simply read “Come over tonight. We need to talk”. He was betting on Minwoo's puppy-like tendencies, expecting that he'd come running without question. Dismissing the possibility of failure, he laid the device back down and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

 

Some hours flew by and it was roughly ten o'clock. Minwoo's heart danced in his chest as he walked towards the end of the hallway to Hyesung's room. Palms sweaty he inhaled and exhaled to calm himself.

_“Come over tonight.”_

Suddenly Minwoo felt hesitant. His feet slowed from a rushed jog to a steady stride. The door at the end of the hallway seemed more menacing now that he was actually here.

 _“_ _We need to talk.”_

Those words were never a good sign, no matter where they came from. Fear slithered into his brain. Speculation born from doubt followed and he stopped in his tracks.

_What does this mean? Have I annoyed him again? Should I not have helped him last time?_

His heart sank at the next thought surfaced.

_Maybe...maybe i'm just convenient cause Jin hasn't been here in a while._

He forced the thoughts from the front of his mind and dug deep to rediscover his hapless optimism to cover it in hopeful denial once again.

_I'm thinking too much into this. He reassured himself confidently. If he's starting to rely on me more then that's good. I can do that much for him. If that's all he wants from me, it'll have to be good enough._

Minwoo cleared his throat and once again reclaimed his happy-go-lucky disposition before entering the room. A yellow haze highlighted the side of the bed where Hyesung sat while the rest of the space was left in a chilling darkness. His slender back was to him, hunched over until he reacted to Minwoo's footsteps. The taller man straightened his posture and turned his head. He gestured for him to come sit but it was difficult to read his expression even with the lamp highlighting part of his face. Minwoo crept over cautiously and sat down, leaving a fair distance between them.

“So....” he began trying to hide his nerves. “It's a little late. Did something serious happen?”

“You could say that.” answered the pretty boy shrouded in mystery.

Closer now, it was difficult to ignore the tempting sight of him. Baggy checkered slacks that fell comfortably on his slender thighs. A loose half-buttoned white shirt that barely covered his chest and the fresh scent of lavender coming off his pale skin. His long brown hair matted against his cheek as if it was stuck to his skin. Minwoo could feel his resolve wavering again, the one reminding him that he came over just to be a friend.

 _This must be a test or something._ Minwoo deduced, struggling to not fixate on the other man. _I can't think like this._

“Does it have something to do with your father again?”

“No. He's irrelevant. This has nothing to do with that kind of thing.” explained Hyesung. “Minoo-ssi...this is about _us_ ”

“What about... _us_?” he asked cautiously.

“Why do you like me?”

Blunt and to the point, as expected of such a critical man. Minwoo wasn't caught off guard by the inquiry. He already settled in his mind a long time ago that this question would need to be answered one day.

“I guess...it's obvious how attracted I am to you,” Minwoo confessed shamelessly.“I swear though, it's more than that.  
Hyesung folded his arms and patiently listened.

“There's something about you.” Minwoo continued sincerely. “Something that's shielded, like it's impossible to get close, But when I do I start to see the you that you hide from everyone. I wanna hold that Hyesung in my arms and be the only one he smiles at. I wanna be-”

Upon realizing his own hapless ramblings Minwoo stopped himself. Turning his head away he was at a loss for words. He racked his brain trying to recover as much of his pride as he possibly could. Suddenly he could hear a low chuckle escape from Hyesung. He turned back and the man was shaking his head, presumably amused or offended by his words. Minwoo laughed awkwardly.

“That's...ridiculous huh.” he smiled reluctantly.

“I don't need this.” replied Hyesung, his voice indifferent and relentless.

_He doesn't need me._

The words pierced through Minwoo's mind like a white noise and his smile faded. He wasn't strong enough to ignore the pain in his chest. Silently he rose from the bed and began to walk away when he suddenly felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned surprised and even more so by the expression on Hyesung's face. It was clear now in that soft yellow light that he was serious, and waiting.

“That fantastical explanation is no good. I need you to show me.”


	14. All Of My...

Hyesung's gentle hand was stronger than Minwoo could ever imagine as it pulled him back towards the bed. He crashed back onto the soft mattress and stared blankly as it sank beside him. He could only hear the loud pounding of his heart as the man he wanted leaned closer.

Long slender fingers brushed his skin as Hyesung reached up to his face and clasped his chin. Surrendering himself to his whims Minwoo relaxed in his grasp allowing his face to follow the command to move toward him. Willfully he was led into that sweet embrace of those small lips he'd been dreaming of.

Their eyes drifted shut as their lips gently interlocked, parting soon after then locking together again. Thin, warm, and moist Minwoo could almost taste the lavender body wash on Hyesung's skin. The reality was sweeter than any dream and he wanted badly to savor more of it. It was time to give him the proof he wanted.

Minwoo reached across Hyesung's chest causing his hand to fall as he kissed him with more aggression. A small groan escaped his mouth as the shorter man leaned into him and they fell together with a heavy thud. Firm muscles pressed against his small frame as Minwoo lowered his chest against him.

“Ah..” Hyesung gasped when his mouth was freed and Minwoo nestled his face in the left side of his neck. His hands gripped the back of his shirt and he shivered at the sensation of his tongue creating circles between his lips that pecked at his flesh. 

“Hyesung-ssi...” Minwoo whispered lowly, his breath sending a wave of heat over his skin. He lifted his right hand to his mouth and brushed his lips softly with his thumb. “Is this what you wanted?”

“I-I..” Hyesung stuttered bashfully. 

He turned his head away as if to hide his embarrassed expression. He knew Minwoo couldn't see him yet he felt like a deer in headlights. It was more than he expected. What did he expect in the first place? He didn't know. For the first time they'd been together he felt something he tried so hard to avoid: vulnerability. The hand over his mouth guided his face back and Minwoo kissed him again. His lips were seized then parted as the other man's tongue curled its way inside to play with his own. After a minute he was released again.

“I don't know.” Hyesung admitted finally completing his sentence.

“I wanna show you my sincerity.” Minwoo proclaimed breathlessly. “I hope that no one comes in, because I don't think I can hold back.”

Hyesung's eyes widened but Minwoo was already pursuing him again with his mouth pressed to his. His hands crawled over his scalp, massaging their way through his brown locks. His pelvis pushed against him and he moaned feeling the hardness of the man on top of him grinding against him.

“You..” Hyesung panted between kisses. “Already?”

“Mm.” Minwoo replied happily. “And soon, you too.”

Again Minwoo was at his neck, placing tiny wet kisses on both sides. At the same time his hands moved from his hair to his chest, searching around until his thumbs discovered his nipples. He brushed then pressed them while nibbling at his neck. Hyesung let a moan, as low as he could, as his head flew back and eyes clenched shut.

“You're so sensitive.” laughed the man on top of him. “It's too cute.”

_ I wanted proof. That's what I said.  _ Hyesung reminded himself, unable to stop reacting to the lips that were now traveling down his chest and a hand that played with the waistline of his pants.  _ What am I proving exactly? _

This unknown confirmation felt good, undoubtedly good, but something nagged at the back of his mind and started to affect it. His body felt ready and willing to accept Minwoo's affections but his heart still felt disconnected. Then as Minwoo's mouth trailed lower and closer to his destination, a familiar face popped into his head and his heart sank. He opened his eyes.

“Jin....” gasped Hyesung mindlessly. Minwoo stopped and felt a twinge of pain in his chest. He wanted so badly to pretend not to notice but couldn't convince his body to move. “This isn't right.”

Minwoo stayed where he was, short-winded, his mouth hanging open while hovering over Hyesung's stomach. There was no ignorance to hide behind, no lies he could tell himself. That name struck his temples over and over again. The pain skipped his head and went straight to his heart. As the reality dawned on him, a menacing laugh escaped him. Like a madman he laughed and laughed, freaking out the man beneath him. Hyesung watched, guilt-ridden as he proceeded with the display of insanity until he finally stopped. Minwoo rested his head on his stomach and sighed deeply. Hyesung shifted to prop himself up on his elbows and looked down.

“Ah, you're too cruel.” Minwoo smirked against him.

Hyesung frowned. He didn't know what to say.

“Ya know, I sort of thought that maybe this wouldn't work out.” he confessed. “A world where you would give yourself to me so willfully doesn't exist.” 

“You don't....know that.” Hyesung suggested in a failed attempt at optimism. 

“Yes, I do. The Hyesung I want, the one I can't reach, is already safe and secure in someone else's heart.”

Proof, yes that's what Minwoo wanted too. Proof that his tendency to fall fast and hard was suicidal. Proof that he was only hurting himself with his delusions. Proof that the man he loved was already taken, and neither of them know it until this very moment.

“I'm so sad.” Minwoo cried out dramatically. “Hyesungie-ya, i'm so sad.”

“Eish.” cursed Hyesung. “How can you joke about this? You really don't have any dignity.”

“I told you I did?” he jeered playfully.

“Aigoo, and to think that I actually feel guilty. Ya, get off of me.” commanded Hyesung.

“No. I wanna hold you a little bit longer.” 

He could tell that Minwoo was serious again. As he spoke his hands trembled and he could feel tiny wet droplets fall onto his belly. Hyesung sighed and laid a hand on top of his head and began to pat him gently.

“You're right. I don't have any dignity,” Minwoo said quietly trying to mask his sobbing voice.. “so I will desperately cherish this while I still can. Please...let me.”

“...of course.” agreed Hyesung.

The two stayed in silence for what seemed to be all night until Minwoo was ready to let go. He rose from the bed to his feet, as did Hyesung. He stretched and cracked his neck. They were silent, staring at each other not knowing what to say in the dimly lit room. Minwoo was the first to break the tension.

“I gotta say, you are more slick than I ever gave you credit for.” he grinned.

“What?” coughed Hyesung putting his hands on his hips.

“Uwaah. You really don't know? You showered, your clothes are barely on, and you took the initiative. You really had me goin. Clever Hyesung-ssi.”

“I-I just...” Hyesung began shyly. “...wanted to get my point across.”

“Mm-hm.” Minwoo nodded. “You did. Do the same thing and Jun-Jin will lose it.”

“What?” he coughed again.

“Yeah I don't think there's any man or woman that could ever resist you. Aigoo, what a lucky guy.”

“S-stop that!” 

Minwoo laughed shielding himself as Hyesung hit him repeatedly in the arm. The joy they were used to feeling when together seemed to be restored. Minwoo and his playful teasing. Hyesung and his angry embarrassment. It felt right, natural. This was the way things were meant to be between them.

They agreed to never cross that line again. Minwoo left that night smiling, hiding the heaviness in his heart. He decided that it was best to drink out that kind of pain with a friend on the weekend. Hyesung sat in silent contemplation with a lingering warmth that came from Minwoo's body. Lust, boredom, desperate loneliness. He knew it was wrong, but that's all it could ever be between them. At least now he understood that.

Jin was different. That Hyesung Minwoo saw a glimpse of was only happy and free when Jin was there. He was real. He knew that now, and more than ever, he wanted to tell him. He had to tell him. 

 


	15. Throw My Fist

Halfway down the hallway the brave smile Minwoo had shown to Hyesung faded. His footsteps practically echoed, blending in with the lone rhythm of IV machines going off in random rooms. He rustled a hand through his hair and cursed lowly. Cursing his weak resolve, cursing his own attached nature, even cursing those damned machines.

Passing the nurses station he received a puzzling look from the woman sitting there. Her tag read “Shin-yeong” and her sandy blond hair dressed her bare arm as she leaned into her palm sleepily staring at him. It was definitely too soon after the drama he faced and too late at night to be hit on. Sure, she was cute, but not his type. He did recall seeing her around some nights before when Dong-wook was still admitted. Not once did she give him a second glance, so perhaps that wasn't it. His eyes met hers and he gave a small bow and smiled.

“Hm.” she mumbled aloud. “Interesting...”

“Excuse me..?” Minwoo asked cautiously.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” she smiled wearily. “It's nothing. I was just thinking of a drama I just saw. Sorry for my rudeness.”

“No, it's fine.” he replied. “Goodnight then.”

“Ye. Goodnight.”she said sweetly with a small wave.

_ Weird _ . He thought and shrugged it off. 

Turning the corner Minwoo walked into the dim empty space where four elevators faced each other. Yawning he pressed a down button and listened to the low hum of the machine as it made it's way from the ground floor. A sharp ding disrupted the silence and the silver doors slid open.

“You.” he heard in an unpleasantly familiar voice.

Jun-jin was standing before him with a stone cold expression. Taking a step forward he stopped the elevator from closing in on him and brought his face inches away from Minwoo. Ignoring him, Minwoo stepped aside but an arm stretched out in front of him. He huffed and glared at the other man.

“I think it's time we talked.” Jin insisted. 

Minwoo rolled his eyes and pushed pass him moving into the elevator. Jin smirked letting his arm fall and stepped in as well, staring the shorter man down as the doors closed behind them. Minwoo leaned against the wall with his arms folded avoiding eye contact. Jin folded his arms as well. The elevator hummed again as it began to descend.

“Here I thought I was just being paranoid. This confirms things.”

“I have nothing to say.” Minwoo remarked calmly.

“Wow. The balls on this one.” mocked Jin. “Not even denying it? I knew we couldn't trust you.”

“We?” laughed Minwoo. “Look, Choong-jae-ssi, anything I had to do with this drama was resolved with Hyesung. I'm not obligated to tell you anything.”

They felt a sudden tremor and the elevator screeched to a stop rumbling heavily as it settled in its place. The tension subsided slightly as they both relaxed their postures and looked around.

“Passengers, can you hear me?” came the static voice of a man from the speaker in the corner. It was a transmission from who they both presumed to be a security guard.

“Ye.” replied Minwoo warily eyeballing Jin. 

“That was the maintenance team working on the elevator.” the man informed then. “Usually visitors are all but gone and few staff are here so we didn't expect anyone to be in there. Don't worry though. We will get you out of there soon.”

More static could be heard until the transmission ended. Jun-Jin loosened his tie and put his hands on his hips. Minwoo slid down to the floor and threw his head bang against the wall. He sighed aloud.

“This is too funny.” he laughed crazily. “Could this night get any better?”

“So...” Jin started in a solemn voice, cautious and afraid. “..with Hyesung.....you-”

“Hyesung and I confirmed our feelings for each other.”

The words shot through Jun-Jin's chest like a bullet. Direct and powerful he stumbled back against the door losing his stability. Minwoo's smile faded as he watched the other man glide to the floor. He arched his back holding his head. It was hard to believe hat he would show such weakness in front of him.

Following the small satisfaction of victory was guilt. What's worse, the feeling was all too familiar. He knew the truth was not as bad as he implied. He wasn't petty enough to keep hurting someone with a lie. Not Jun-jin. Not Hyesung. Not himself.

“Eeish!” cursed Minwoo. “You give up too easily. Where is your faith?”

Jin slowly rose his head.

“What?” was all he could muster as a reaction. The man across from him grinned. 

“Don't you know our precious Hyesung better than that? I'm disappointed.” Minwoo insisted nonchalantly. “You think that kind of guy would do that sort of thing in a hospital? For shame.” 

The elevator shook again before finally moving. Within a minute they were down to the ground floor. Jin stood up bewildered unable to find his words. Minwoo shook his head and stood up dusting off the back of his pants. Walking to the elevator entrance he glanced at Jin and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Congratulations.” he announced taking his hand away. “You rescued the princess from his castle long before I even got to the mote.” 

A lingering sadness dripped from his words but by the time the message translated completely in Jin's mind Minwoo was already gone. He ran out of the elevator after him but he'd disappeared completely from the lobby. He exhaled as his heart started to race. Did Hyesung really choose him? Was he imagining things again? No. This was real. He only needed to confirm it.

His exhilaration became clouded with guilt. Was he too hard on Minwoo? What did he want to accomplish by confronting him?

“ _Hyesung and I confirmed our feelings for each other.”_

Maybe Minwoo was just as panicked and confused as he was. He caame here in worked up hoping for something but was rejected. He could have hit him. He could have lashed out. He could have...but didn't.

_ Damn that guy.  _ He cursed in his mind _. Why did he just...? _

Jun-jin sighed and shook his head. Minwoo really wasn't such a bad guy after all, grinning and bearing it for the sake of Hyesung's happiness. Admittedly, that was exactly what he himself was preparing to do. With that in mind he could tolerate his presence, and furthermore owed him an apology. That would be saved for next time if there would be one.

He turned back and stared at the closed elevator doors. Hyesung's face popped into his mind. He was probably collecting himself now. Probably too tired for any more drama. He'd have to wait. Knowing he'd been given that chance he was willing to, at least for a day or two. He left the rehab silently excited, unsure if he could even bring himself to go to work the next day.

 


	16. Problem Solver

The ticking of the clock echoed in the silence. The office was a small cramped room with barely enough space for the large tin desk that stretched across the middle of it. Yet somehow, Eric, Hyesung and the social worker Mr. Park handling his case were packed together exchanging glances. The older gentleman propped his elbows up on the desk and folded his hands, leaning his forehead against them. After another moment of awkward silence he cleared his throat and shot a fierce glare at Eric, who shrunk back and threw his hands up.

“Don't you have anything else to do Dr. Mun?” he hissed.

“No. No I don't.” Eric said proudly folding his arms with confidence.

Hyesung cupped his chin in his palm and rested his elbow on the arm of his chair. He released an exhausted sigh and closed his eyes. He really did appreciate Eric for going above and beyond. He was supposed to be released a week ago but having no home really puts a damper on things. Rehabilitation centers and hospitals are liable for patients, so they cannot release them without a residence.

That's where Eric came in, going above and beyond the duties of the actual social worker to help him out. His efforts, however, had drawn unwanted attention to him. He was practically branded now. Doing so much out of the bounds of a normal doctor-patient relationship is too informal, too personal. People talk. Rumors spread. Then again, this is Eric. Surely they didn't expect such a 4-dimensional person to approach things “normally”?

Eric flashed him a cheeky grin and he turned his face away.

_ Too cute. I wonder what face he's making.  _ The giddy doctor pondered while staring a hole through the back of the pretty boy's head. 

The counselor cleared his throat to draw their attention.

“Well, regardless. “ Mr. Park continued. “Your generous offer is unacceptable. It's simply too...too....”

While searching for words he was met with strikingly serious eyes. Eric was waiting for his excuse. If not that then he knew what was coming. One of the few words in their breif 3 years of working together to describe anything he ever did.

“...suspicious.”

“Oh?” he replied in a demented way. He leaned forward, unraveling his arms and folding his hands under his chin. “Really? Is it really that unfathomable for a doctor to help his patient? How is he supposed to heal on the streets? What's the point of this rehab if we can't even do that much for people?”

Hyesung sank a little in his seat with a mixed feeling of embarrassment and humility. He felt like a middle school kid who got unfairly punished by his teacher being defended by an overprotective mom.

“I've told you this before.” the man retorted. “We are not a shelter. His insurance company won't stand for this. We also cannot condone any elicit relationships at this center. What you do in your own time has nothing to do with our policies.” 

“Meo?!” the doctor snapped angrily.

“Okay!” Hyesung shouted abruptly rising from his seat. Both men stared. 

“Now, let _me_ talk.” he demanded impatiently, surprising them both. He moved closer to the desk and slammed his hands on the cold surface, staring down the startled man on the other side.

“I'll forever be grateful to Dr. Mun. Even going so far as to offer his own home. He's a rare human being to burden himself for the sake of a stranger. He is an exemplary doctor that is irreplaceable. You're lucky to have him.”

Turning to Eric he bowed a full 90 degrees.

“Hyesung-ssi..” Eric gasped, touched by the bold heartfelt acknowledgment.

“Thank you,” he announced in formal Korean. “I am honored to be in your care, but I cannot accept your generosity.”

He lifted his head and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling.

“You had a job to do and you did it.” Hyesung remarked speaking casually again. “Now, don't be my doctor but be my friend. Let me solve this on my own.”

Quietly he studied Hyesung's face and saw his determination.

“Friend.” he smiled warmly, repeating the word with admiration. “Yea, I can do that. I got ya back.”

“Thanks. I'll figure something out.” He turned back to the social worker. “Thank you for all your efforts. Goodbye.” 

Hyesung's hand slipped off of Eric's coat and he left the room without turning back to read their expressions. It really didn't matter. His mind was made up. The last thing he needed was for a good friend like Eric to lose his license by crossing a line, or to be the reason for the crossing. He didn't know what to do but he'd figure it out. That Hyesung that was content with recoiling behind walls was gone now. He could solve his own problems now...somehow...

 


	17. Only One

Hyesung found himself staring at those same fading waves of coral pink, magenta and tangerine clouds across the sky. What used to be a great comfort was now reduced to haunting repetition. A reminder that this escape was a lie. He was always in the same mental place sitting in front of the same window over the last year. Except now he was actually aware of it. He was starting to miss denial.

“ _I'll figure something out.”_

Yeah. That's what he said but who was he trying to fool? He lost his job. His father disowned him and kicked him out. His savings were low. He pushed his only friends away. He let out an exhausted sigh and hung his head back

_Genius. Fucking genius._

The door to his room suddenly swung open. Startled by the intrusion he almost choked while hanging. Lifting his head he gasped while the door slammed shut. Hearing footsteps marching towards him he whirled around to see Jun-jin breathlessly coming towards him.

“Jin-ah!” he exclaimed as he watched his friend's briefcase drop to the floor.

“I couldn't wait. I really tried but I couldn't.” insisted the irrational man. 

Upon reaching him Jun-jin bent down and clasped Hyesung's face. Before getting the chance to speak Hyesung's lips were claimed. Wide-eyed Hyesung's pale cheeks faded from pale to pink as he received all the passion and intensity Jin could muster. After his initial surprise he closed his eyes and gave the same back to him. A satisfied groan escaped Jin as he parted their lips, slipping in his tongue to claim the other's. Jin's hands slipped down the frail man's body circling his back as he leaned over moving his head to deepen the kiss. Hyesung slid his hands around Jin's neck and twisted his fingers into his hair making him tremble. He drew away and gasped.

“Wow. That was...intense.” Hyesung blurted out thoughtlessly. Hearing his own words his cheeks reddened even more. “I-I mean...uhm....ya!”

“Ah, too cute.” Jin laughed placing a peck on his forehead. 

“Ya!” Hyesung scowled with actual anger behind it that time. 

“Hyesung-ssi...” Jin kneeled down and clasped his hands, bringing them to his lips. Hyesung stared at him bashfully as he placed a tender kiss on his knuckles

“What...all of a sudden?” he managed to ask.

“Don't play coy.” Jin insisted. “I know now. Minwoo told me.”

“He did?” he asked recalling their small tryst and averting his eyes. “What did he tell you exactly?”

“All I need to know.” he smiled happily. Noticing the aversion his smile dropped. “Was there more?”

“...Ne...” he confessed now feeling vulnerable and guilty. “Actually we..made out a little. But I don't want that. I don't want him. I want...”

Jun-jin stood up silently.

“I want to start off honestly.” Hyesung continued. The blush faded from his face and he looked down at the floor. He swallowed hard before talking again. “I'm sorry. If you don't want to be involved because of this, I understand.” 

“Wow.” smirked Jun-jin. “You've become so bold. Color me surprised.”

Surprised and confused by his response Hyesung glanced up at Jin, who had a perplexing grin spread across his face. He grabbed his hand and pulled him from his seat. Leading him to his bed he sat him down and pushed him down on his back. Hitting the mattress with a hard thud he cried out.

“What the fu-”

His mouth was claimed quickly as Jin descended leading him into a kiss he couldn't help but surrender to. Slow,. Soft. Feverish. Possessive. Jin curled and arched his back while bringing his hips in-between Hyesung's thighs and pressing against him. Hyesung moaned and gripped at the sheets beside him. Breaking the kiss, Jin lifted his head, surveying the man beneath him. Hyesung stared up drearily, panting.

“I'll help you forget it,” Jun-jin said in a daze, his eyes mystified with lust. He lifted Hyesung's hand to his neck and trembled while gliding it down to his chest. To his heart. “When we get home, I'll make sure that your body knows only me. Every bit of me belongs to you.”

Hyesung could feel his heart pounding just as aggressively as his own. His hand burned like the rest of his body. He wanted to be possessed by him, to set himself free in his embrace. He needed this man beside him. Suddenly a word struck him.

“Wait...” Hyesung said snapping out of their fantasy. “... _home_?”

“Yeah.” Jun-jin beamed with pride. “I worked my way up to a promotion. You didn't think iI would let you go homeless did you?”

Hyesung blinked, dumbfounded. It made sense that he knew about his situation even more than anyone else, but for another person to go so far for him....He was touched and speechless.

“I already moved.” he informed him. “That's why I wasn't here for a while. It's the same price as the place I was renting but a 2 bedroom. Before anything else you're my friend. Even if you didn't choose me...even if I would have to bear seeing you with another man, I...”

Jin hesitated, feeling the pain of that distant possibility. The thought was unbearable. After the feeling subsided he smiled and gently caressed Hyesung's cheek.

“I would have done it for you. I'd do anything for you.”

Hyesung looked away.

“Well, you don't have to worry about that.” he reassured him shyly.

Jun-jin leaned down and kissed his exposed neck sending chills down his spine.

“I know.” he whispered against his skin. “My princess...”

“Princess?!” Hyesung exclaimed angrily pushing him away. 

“It's an inside joke.” he chuckled.

“Inside? With who?”

Jin laughed hysterically protecting his secret, trying to kiss his angered lover more as he fought to push him off spouting every curse word in his arsenal. They were too loud to notice the knocking at the door.

“Hyesung-ssi...” came the voice of Andy who cautiously opened the door and was surprised by what he saw. They stopped their playing when they noticed his presence. Jin fell over as Hyesung sprung up and bowed towards him.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” he apologized frantically. “Please forget-”

“It's fine.” Andy waved. He walked over to the bedside and sat a small clear cup of pills down and flashed them a smile. Jun-jin grinned, laying comfortably on the bed while looking over to Hyesung who was still standing awkwardly. 

_ Like a deer in headlights.  _ He thought. It was hard not to chuckle. Hearing his failed attempt Hyesung made a fist and glared. It only made him laugh harder.

“So.” coughed Andy. “Just came to give you your meds. Didn't mean to interrupt but I'll be in trouble if you don't take them. I know you will so I'm not gonna stick around. Later.”

Not looking back as promised he scurried out of the room and pulled the door shut behind him. Of course after that Hyesung was too embarrassed and pissed to tolerate any form of affection. The mood was completely ruined. Jun-jin complied with Hyesung's whims despite his disappointment. They sat together at the table and instead spent their time discussing plans for the near future.

 


	18. Sharing Forever

Hyesung's clothes and things were all packed and one by one the suitcases were placed into the trunk of Jun-Jin's car. It was time to leave the rehab finally. He could feel a tremendous weight lifting from his shoulders, but at the same time he was plagued with sadness. He faced a lot of pain during his stay, but thanks to those who cared for him and thoughtful staff who carried out their duties with sincerity he felt twice as much love.

He watched lovingly as Dongwan and Andy put his luggage into the back of the car while Jin instructed them where and how. Everyone came out to see him off. Dongwan and Andy waited around after their shifts. Eric avoided his shift. Shin-yeong came out to give him a thoughtful care package and her email. Of course she couldn't resist teasing him about his new lover before saying goodbye to start her shift. Even Minwoo on his day off, despite any bitterness that could remain, came out to see him.

“Heading to the new castle huh.” hinted Minwoo standing beside Jin.

“Whatever.” he spat. “I'll be sure to invite you someday.”

“Ah, might wanna be careful with that.” Minwoo dared boldly. “Your resolve seemed too weak so I decided to stick around and challenge it.”

“Is that a threat?” Jin inquired with a fire in his eyes.

“Did I say that?” Minwoo responded innocently. “I wouldn't dream of it. But then again it's gonna be pretty hard to resist. He's such a great kisser after all.”

“Eish!”

Hyesung ignored the two rivals who actually seemed to be having fun while play fighting. He didn't understand this business about a castle but felt that somehow he didn't wanna know, as long as those two were getting along. Andy slammed the trunk door shut after Dongwan put the last bag in the car. He approached them smiling.

“Thanks guys...for everything.”

“Not a problem.” replied Andy gleefully. “Let's hang out sometime in the future. Jin is great and all but I feel like you need people to take care of you. I am a nurse after all.”

“Right?” agreed Dongwan laughing. “And you need a partner when you start your taekwondo training again. Plus you owe me a match.”

“Nonsense!” Eric cut in planting himself in-between Dongwan and Andy while hanging off their shoulders. “You've got the great Dr. Mun looking out for you. These guys aren't nearly as fun either. Ne, Hyesungie-ya?”

“That's one way to put it.” Hyesung remarked sarcastically.

“See? He agrees.”

“I don't think he was agreeing with you.” Dongwan suggested.

“Definitely not.” chuckled Andy.

“Ya!” The two laughed joking among themselves as the childish doctor pestered Hyesung for a satisfactory answer.

When was the last time he laughed so hard? Did he ever experience being completely relaxed being surrounded by a group of people? The people in his life now filled him with so much unchained joy that his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He would never let them go, never hurt them or let them be hurt. He could truly be himself now. Looking at them, he would never forget it.

As the day came to a close he said his goodbyes to each of them. Hyesung felt overjoyed and excited going home with his lover and friend at his side. He peered up at the sky from the window as they rode through the busy streets of Seoul.

“Are you alright Hyesung?” asked Jun-jin noticing his longing stare. Hyesung turned and leaned over planting a kiss on his cheek then held his hand.

“Maybe i'm just feeling a little impatient.” he replied mischevously.

“Oh really?” Jun-jin grinned squeezing his hand tightly. “Don't worry. We'll be home soon.”

“I know.” he smiled.

Jin turned his eyes back to focus on his driving. Hyesung sighed deeply, relaxing in his seat. It had been a long day. His body felt heavy as he continued to watch the colors fade in the sky. The sunset was truly beautiful. He remembered how much now as he slipped into unconsciousness.

The colors in their many changing hues, all blended throughout soft clouds undefined by lines or borders. They eventually fade into that endless deep blue, disappearing together into the distance. But the sun rises again, and those colors are reborn in new tones and shades more radiant than before. It will always rise again, to start a new day and bring light to a new future. Painting the skies in a mirage of colors once again......

**END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Feel free to leave any final thoughts and criticisms in the comments. Thanks for reading ^o^ <3


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